TW - depression, ed
Eeep! This is the line my husband just ended a phone call with. So, his parents have invited us to dinner tomorrow night and I really am not in the space where I can handle it. I've been horribly depressed and majorly struggling with some of my ED behaviors (like doing stupid, stupid shit like cramming nicotine gum in my face to both make me sick and kill my appetite for the past week. I have never been a smoker and I realize this is horrible and dangerous behavior and I should know better, but I'm just...I don't know). Anyway, I told him I can't go. And I really, honestly can't at this point. The thing is, I don't want my problems to keep him from spending time with his parents and vice versa. So I said he should just go to dinner without me.
Now I feel horrible and a bit stuck because his family is going to be offended (they feel like I don't want a relationship with them, which isn't true - it's just I really can't handle it right now and they are also a bit overbearing and nosey, so any interaction is going to make my anxiety spiral out of control). I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also really can't even fathom going out to dinner or seeing anyone this weekend. But I also don't want him discussing my mental health, they are pushy and nosey and its none of their business, and frankly part of why I absolutely can't go. Should I just try to suck it up and go?