1. The Greatest Asian Buffet in the History of Humanity — Seriously, you guys don't even know. Holy shit. This place is going to bankrupt me. They have vegetable tempura. They have three different varieties of dumplings. They have pork buns. They have a frankly staggering variety of sushi. I didn't even GET to the Chinese food entrees or Hibachi today. I have no words.

2. The Greatest Typos/Bad Translations/I am not sure what the fuck happened in Asian Restaurant History — Somehow this tops Fred Dumplings. Here is the chopstick wrapper's quote, in its unvarnished entirety:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks.
the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history.
and cultural

Meanwhile, here are our fortune cookie fortunes:

InfectiousGirl: "Hungry is the man who finds salvation in a cookie."
Me: "Soothing your body are the name of the game today."

Between this and the STELLAR food, I may never have loved a restaurant more than I do Misaki in Pittsburgh.

3. Hitting myself in the face with my own computer screen — Oh yes. I am skilled.