Yesterday, I posted about discovering Mr. Farce's huge and secret debt. Because you're all amazing, compassionate, lovely people, you all essentially helped me step back and breathe a bit, take a long hard look at things, and not have a complete comeapart.
When Mr. Farce got home last night, I found out that the enormous loan was actually a credit card consolidation loan. I asked to see the transaction history on this credit card. He pulled them up on his phone and cried as he cut up the credit card. What the transactions were is truly shocking.
Mr. Farce has a truly horrible eating disorder, to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars spent at fast food restaurants.
We found a local Overeater's Anonymous meeting, and he's there right now. I am in awe that he was willing to tackle this immediately and head on. I cannot imagine how difficult this is going to be for him. And for us.
I feel like I failed him as a partner for not noticing all these years. He's always been heavy, but never morbidly obese or anything. He has always eaten a lot, but it just seemed like he was a big guy who liked food. And he has clearly suffered in silence for ages, battling a need to fill an emotional hole with a quick and easy high.
He has been making three, four, five stops a day at McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell.
Once he had amassed so much debt, he obviously just kept piling it on, using the credit card here and there for gas or groceries or pet food. And like anything left untreated, the condition just got worse, both financially and emotionally.
He clearly needs therapy - and I would like to pursue couples counseling, but the irony is that we can't afford that. I will be spending the day searching for free local counseling services and trying to wrap my head around all of the feelings that are hitting me in relentless waves: anger, fear, sadness, guilt. It's like being stuck in a riptide.
So, my dearest GroupThinkers, once again, your thoughts are welcome. And I want to say how amazingly lucky I feel that you count me as one of your own. This really is a damn fine community. I love you guys. You are the best.