You know what would make my day?

  • If this program would work the way it was god-damn supposed to (I SET THAT VARIABLE. DON’T TELL ME I DIDN’T BECAUSE I SET IT RIGHT FUCKING THERE).
  • If my daughter could do her daily tasks without consulting me every ten minutes about the state of her tasks, the questions she has about her task, the reasons she has to do the tasks, or to share a random thought that popped into her head.
  • If Mr. Cunning didn’t act wounded when I reminded him to walk the dog (A REAL WALK, ONE WITH POOP, NOT A QUICK PEE), even though he forgets any morning where he causes himself to ‘run late’.
  • If I didn’t have to leave my son sticky notes to remind him to shower.
  • If my daughter, who can totally tell time and do time math, would stop asking me how many hours until we see Inside Out (we are going at four and she has been asking since EIGHT AM).

What inane shit is causing your morning to go pear shaped?