1. Stop leaving the photocopier jammed. It makes me hate you.

2. If you have to poo, please pick a bathroom that isn't in a highly trafficked part of the building. Not because of the smell—but because then it's awkward when you come out and there are like 3 people with no time waiting to pee.

3. Calm the fuck down. It's middle school. If Bobby doesn't know the 16th amendment, he'll be okay.

Advertisement

4. FREAK THE FUCK OUT! It's middle school. If Bobby doesn't figure out he has to be polite to people at the very least, he won't be okay.

5. Why are you leaving me voicemails? We have email! If it's not an emergency, write it down. If it's an emergency, come find me.

6. If I haven't answered an email in a day, I'm not going to. Remind me, please.

7. Okay, the kids like me. I'm sorry. Trust me, I don't fill them with sweets, let them get away with murder, or badmouth you to them. I have clear expectations, I don't freak out if papers aren't in the right order, and I try to make them laugh at least once a day...even if it means I have to do my "we're reading a book I love dance."

Advertisement

8. If I'm in my classroom's "safe space" behind a stack of papers, please don't come in just to chat.

9. If I look like I'm going crazy, please come in and chat.

10.Don't impose crazy ass rules. Only going to the bathroom once a week? Seriously? If it's a problem, deal with that 1 kid who goes at 11:11 every day; if not, chill.

11. Don't be mean to the kids. If they spoke to us that way, they'd be in the principal's office.

12. Bring me a snack every now and then. I'll totally cover your study hall.