*inanity/gut spilling about LSAT, jobs, and depression. NO MAINPAGE PLEASE*

So I just got back from my first LSAT workshop (part of the LSAT prep course I am taking), and it SUCKED. HARD. Basic shit that I should have down by now is just not gelling with me, or something. I'm basically scoring the way I did in the beginning, which sucks ass cause I am officially 1/3 of the way through the class. And I'm still doing that "test taking anxiety/panic" thing I do sometimes when it comes to logic games (I fucking hate those things). Oh, and I apparently lost the ability to study in the seven years since undergrad cause I always seem to be a lesson behind, despite my best efforts.

There is an open house for an area law school on Saturday, and I'm going, but I'm feeling all uneasy about it. Someone who works in the admissions office is taking the class with me (God I hope I'm not doxxing myself) and told me about it. I just wish I had someone to go with me, but I can tell my mom about it, given that she thinks I wouldn't be able to get in/would fail at it anyway.

On the job front: I got a call today about a job I've basically been put through the ringer for. The good news is I "sort of" got the job. The bad news is I can't take it cause of this LSAT class I am taking and my LSAT test date will conflict with training for this job, and according to this job, missing a single day of training gets you kicked out. So basically I am SOL unless there is some training thing that starts after the class and test are done (fingers crossed). And there is nos way in Hell I am just "dropping" this class, what with it, and the test, already paid for.

More job crap: I took a test today for another job, a job I actually really want, since it lines up nicely with my undergrad majors, and seems to be a good fit for someone looking to go into public service/law. I ironically, it consisted of some of the same shit as the LSAT (logical reasoning, logic games "arguments," etc.), with a nice dash of maths for good measure. I fucking suck at maths. I hate maths. This is why I was a liberal arts major.

Depression related: I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and we decided to up my dose of Venlafaxine, the anti-depressant I am currently taking. While it seems to keep my mood from falling into the "just put me out of my fucking misery" column, I can't seem to get motivated to do anything, and I can't seem to concentrate for more than 20 minutes at a time, which presents a problem when you are TRYING TO STUDY FOR THE LSAT. Hopefully the new dosage helps, cause my frustration level with this is just through the goddamned roof.

Miscellaneous whining: once again, my landlord will be having someone come in and "assess" the property. I really don't want these people in my apartment. I don't want a repeat of last time. I guess the upside is that it will encourage me to get up off my ass and turn in this job application my mom left on my door.

This day was crappy and I feel like crap. My ability to "can" got stabbed in the face repeatedly and thrown out of a moving train. Someone wave a magic wand and make everything okay please.