Or more importantly, THIS IS WHY HUSBAND DOES NOT "ORGANIZE" THINGS!!!! Or a defense of semi hoarding.

Back story: Mom and Dad had hoarding tendencies (emotional and paperwork/books respectively). She was probably level 1 (lowest grade) at her worst. I enherited those nature or nurture-wise. It's better now but still not great. Husband and I moved from two-level house in WI to 1 bedroom apt in Chicago. I got rid of lots of things but in a small space it's still looks like a lot. Also, I am chronically disorganized (when things are organized I get nervous) and am in semi-desperate need for a professional organizer's help/therapy.

I'm leaving for my parents this evening meaning I'm packing NOW. Husband is leaving from Wisconsin so he's there. I AM TRYING TO FIND MY SUITCASES/DUFFEL BAGS. I CAN NOT FIND THEM.

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Because I kinda organized things, the normal suitcase that has all the suitcases IN IT is now filled with felt. Also, I use/collect VINTAGE SUITCASES so there are tons of SUITCASES but NOT THE ONES FOR MODERN USE.

A few months ago, HUSBAND PUT BOXES AND SUITCASES into the closet IN A WAY THAT NO HUMAN BEING CAN POSSIBLY GET TO ITEMS. I know because I've freaked out my dog, stubbed my toe, cut my thumb, etc. to find the absence of my suitcases.

Yes, the house is cleaner and easier to manage for the animals and us. Yes, I agreed to the closet storage although I had immense anxiety (that's how we got ready for guests during childhood... EVERYTHING IN THE CLOSETS BECAUSE HOW WE LIVE IS SHAMEFUL!!!). YES, I should know where these suitcases are because there are quite a few and I bet they are somewhere ENTIRELY OBVIOUS AND THAT MAKES SENSE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT IS BECAUSE THOSE PLACES DON'T MAKE SENSE TO ME!!!

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I've checked in the storage room and unless the suitcases (items used for storage) are IN A PLASTIC BIN, I can't find them.

While writing this, I think they might be in some unorganized bins near my side of the bed. Hopefully.

Dog is flying with me (ON the plane, not underneath) so I'm trying to stay relatively calm for him and for all the cats as all this change/noise/etc. has a tendency to freak them out. And it's seriously too early to drink.

THIS IS WHY I WANT A BIGGER PLACE AND THIS IS WHY WE DON'T ORGANIZE UNTIL I'M READY TO WHICH WILL PROBABLY BE NEVER BECAUSE MY MOM DOESN'T THINK PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZING IS WORTH SPENDING MONEY ON. HER SOLUTION WAS TO (yes, she got rid of a lot of stuff when she moved... I know because I asked) HAVE A BASEMENT FILLED WITH SHELVES FILLED WITH BOXES!!!

UGH UGH UGH.

p.s. And Evangelical atheists are tweeking me on a Gawker article from yesterday. I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!!!! DISMISS DISMISS DISMISS!!!!

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UPDATE: THEY WERE IN ONE OF HUSBAND'S DUFFELS AT THE BOTTOM OF OUR CLOSET. THE CLOSET WHICH IS NOT STUFFED. MEANING IT WAS IN A COMPLETELY LOGICAL PLACE.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

AND

REEEEEEEEEELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF