Green: my mom, via gchat (screenshotted and sent to my sister on FB chat). Purple: me. Blue: sister. Black: son of my mom's coworker.
My mother is convinced that I must marry this guy. (I'm given to understand that his mother is as well.) She raved about him to me over text a while back. Last year, I pointed out to my mom that ThinkGeek sells the Master's pocket watch and she said "Oh, [coworker] just bought that for [boy] for Christmas." My sister says that she has referred to him as "Bonnet's boyfriend" around the house. She has actually referred to him as "your arranged marriage boyfriend" in messages to me.
I keep reminding her that he lives in Arizona and I live in France/DC, but she doesn't seem to care. If I we're ever in my hometown at the same time, I suspect she would throw a party and/or arrange a crazy random happenstance at the grocery store so that we could meet in person.
(I did finally agree to friend him on FB, but his settings are such that I can't because we don't have mutual friends.)
On the plus side, the first "like" that shows up in his TV section is Firefly. However, his books section includes "The Alphabet of Manliness," (ETA: originally typed "Art of Manliness," which is not as bad) which was written by a guy who kind of seems like an asshole.