So, I have a son with moderate-severe autism. I have a father who is a toxic presence and since my mom died 2 years ago our family has disintegrated into a fucked up fragmented mess, and I try to avoid direct interactions with my dad because he makes me (and not just me) feel like a worthless person and a horrible mother. The ONLY reason I interact with him at all is because my son loves him and he's great with my son, at least as great as he's capable of being. It would be cruel to both of them to cut off that relationship and my son had enough trouble dealing with my mom dying.

My dad isn't rich, by any stretch, but he's got lots of retirement money, a fair amount of savings and a fully paid off house, so when he dies there will be a decent amount left (he's 84 and still in fantastic health, so it's unlikely he'll use it up with long term care or anything, especially since he, like all my family, is adamantly anti-extreme measures.) I know that he wrote his will leaving something in trust for my son. However, Special Needs Trusts have to written VERY specifically buy a lawyer who knows what the hell he's doing or we could end up in a situation where I can't access the money to care for my son, or paying a lot more tax than we need to. I also wouldn't be totally surprised if he made one of my sisters the trustee, because he's a fucking dickhead.

So here's my question: would it be totally out of line for me to insist on seeing the will and/or talking to the lawyer who drafted it, to make sure the Special Needs Trust is written correctly? I don't need to know about anything else, how much he left to my sisters, blah blah, but I really feel like I'd be doing a disservice to my son, and even, in a way, to my dad and my mom's memory, if I didn't make sure that my son gets what they really intend for him to have.