To what extent are we responsible for someone else's triggers? To what extent are we responsible for our reactions to triggering things?

I've seen and been involved in so many comment threads here, and on the main page, in which something was said, someone felt triggered by it, and the conversation couldn't de-escalate. At best it ends up with an agreement to disagree, at worst it ends up with some serious name-calling and horribleness.

My first reaction when I've said something triggering is always to apologize for pulling the trigger, so to speak. I usually then attempt to understand where the responder is coming from, to clarify what I meant, to de-escalate. But what do you do when the responder is projecting all over the place? At what point can you say to someone who is clearly upset "Hey, it seems like this is really emotional for you, I feel like there's a lot of projection going on here, let's walk away from this because it's not productive" without it being tone policing or dismissive?

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I personally think that when we've said something triggering, we're responsible for listening to the person who's been triggered, really hearing their point of view, but I also think that person is responsible for how they handle themselves in that conversation.

I don't know, just some late-night musings.

ETA: This is not in any way a response to the fact that Korra has a trigger warning in the below post. I didn't see that until I finished this post!