My stepson, who is chronically underemployed and needed us to rescue his car two weeks ago just bought personalised plates. We had to buy new brakes because his were dead, but he has the spare $$ to buy the expensive plates?!

The plates were $700, the brakes were $900. He has struggled with unemployment for the last few years, and we bought the car last year so he could do delivery jobs (he is slowly paying it back). He asked to pay back less each week because he wasn’t getting shift, and because he spent everything on the plates. Which he didn’t tell us about.

I am trying to save money to fund things to help me stay sane and he just blithely spends the money.

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I am so angry and he just doesn’t get it. He is autistic, which has been part of the employment problem, but he is absolutely capable of appreciating his mum doesn’t have money and needs to save but we are apparently just walking buckets of money with no feelings. If he had talked about why he had no money I would still be irritated (personalised plates are such a waste of money for me) but to have him moping around the house complaining about no money and suggesting we book the expensive hotel on the trip he getting his 21st is now extremely galling. Of course he is in for a shock on the accom as I have booked a b & b with shared bathrooms. The kind of place 21 year old me would have stayed at (and 40 year old me still thinks is a good idea when I can’t get a good deal at a nicer place)