I have bppv - benign positional vertigo. Basically, whenever I lie down, or turn my head while lying down, the world spins. I'm ok when I'm walking or driving or standing. Looking down isn't so great.

I had this a couple years ago, and it did go away in a few weeks. I'm trying to remember this.

Because really, I'm sitting here crying. I'm so so tired of being sick, and of having these weird things. It's been a horrible year and I hate being that friend/ family member who always has some drama going on.

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I'm supposed to go home in a week. I hate flying anyway, so I was taking the train (30 hours!) I worry this will make it worse, and I know that my family is also very sick of my being sick and will have zero compassion about this.

ugggh, I'm sorry but I'm just so down and frustrated. It seems like this will never end. On one hand, I'm grateful not to be married or have kids, because I don't burden them with this. On the other hand, there's not much to hold on for, is there? If this is how the rest of my life is going to be, that's not a hell of a lot of fun going on.

I just need to get through this, and hope this too shall pass and that next year will be better. Please send good thoughts for good health and for the rocks in my head (literally) to align themselves already.