I feel like someone just punched me in the gut.

I'm not someone that is upset easily but shit. I feel like financially any time we "get ahead" something happens to put us in check.

Employment, car problems. Side job with bonus, car problem or health problems or foreseen expense. Raise, health problems. Raise, new car.

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I should be thankful and glad that we have jobs and he is getting a raise and that we are both healthy and no one has died and that we have a roof over our heads and all these thing but in this moment all I feel is quicksand.

The idea of buying a home keeps moving further and further away. Going back to school or staying home when we have kids seems impossible and I'm laughing at the fact that we were talking about visiting my brother soon.

I'm also starting to do that thing where I look at others with money and think they must have no problems at all .

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Oh and here comes the guilties over spending money on anything other than bills and the basic necessities.

If anyone needs me I'll be over here wallowing in self pity.