It’s fine. Friends of a friend are moving and needed someone to take over their lease. So this was basically the only chance we had to be guaranteed to be chosen for an apartment, rather than getting rejected for our less-than-perfect credit (and I don’t mean that as a euphemism for bad credit, I mean literally we got rejected because our credit wasn’t perfect).

There are some things about if that I’m not thrilled about. It’s a 1-bedroom, when we really wanted a 2-bedroom or like 1+loft or something so the Constable could have his own little space to work since he’s a grad student. There’s basically zero storage space and not a whole lot of closet space, but maybe it will be good for us to get rid of stuff. I’m going to be going from central air/heat to one window a/c unit in the living room and no heat, which I know might be a silly thing to be picky about, but I’m really sensitive to temperature. Basically I just really wanted our apartment to be very comfortable, and this one I think we’re going to have to work at making comfortable.

But there are good things. It’s in our ideal location. It’s got a decent kitchen, which was really important to me. Most importantly, our rent won’t be going up. I mean, I’ll be paying the same amount for half a 1-bedroom as I’ve been paying for a nicer 2-bedroom literally a block away, which is a little...hard. But we wanted to stay in our neighborhood and not spend the next month in like a death match with every other applicant for the decent reasonably-priced apartments. And now we can save the money we would have spent on an apartment we loved and have a decent amount of savings for when the Constable finishes grad school and we can leave LA.

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It’s just been a really emotional time for me. The Constable and I have been talking about moving in together for such a long time and we’ve talked so much about everything we wanted in an apartment and how we were going to be able to get such an amazing apartment because we were going to be living together and not with roommates (so we could do 1+loft or something instead of strictly 2 rooms). And we just built this up so much in our minds that it was hard not to be disappointed. And having rent go up so ridiculously drastically in our neighborhood in just the last year made me feel so...unwelcome. Like I either couldn’t afford or couldn’t get chosen for an apartment in my own neighborhood and it felt like being kicked out of a home. Because this really has been the closest thing to a home since I left my parents’ house. I’ve been here the longest and it’s been the most comfortable of anywhere I’ve lived, and it’s hard not to feel like I’m moving backwards. And this whole process has just made this city feel so lonely. I’ve been here for over 6 years, but with the Constable out of town during all of this, and my friends from college all moved away, I just felt so alone in this entire process. Like when we got rejected from the dream apartment and I just cried so hard and there was nobody I could call and ask to come over. I just miss my family and I miss my boyfriend, and it’s been a really hard week.

But we have an apartment. And it’s going to be a fine apartment. And I really am excited to be moving in with the Constable. He’s pretty great. And I'll be able to walk around my living room naked, so that's pretty neat.