I had my first case of sleep paralysis last night. That was fun. Sure it was too for the neighbors.

I heard some voice out of nowhere (hella fucking demonic), and then felt pressure pushing down on me (Pushing down on you/no man ask for...#Bowie #Queen). MFW.

My first thought: This is it. Finally got my ass possessed. Just like the earthquake adventure, except for real this time.

My second thought: Time to scream for my mommy.

"Mu...mu...mu..mommy."

PRESSURE INTENSIFIES.

"Mo...mom...mommy!"

PRESSURE MORE INTENSIFY.

"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" (Came out "MAH-MEEEEE")

Then it was over. I ran out of bed into my living room.

Then I remembered I live alone.

My mommy wasn't there.

And demons don't have time to possess my dumb ass, nor do ghosts, nor do whatever else.

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I heard through the paper thin walls people going "What happened? What? Bro, did you hear that?"

I was all "Do not come over, do not come over, I'm just insane, do not come over."

Then I went back to bed, said The Lords Prayer a few times to be safe.

Now I'm up and feel tired.

Fuck you, sleep paralysis. Or demon. Sorry neighbors..