I'm feeling pretty good today! On an academic level, I know that the drugs aren't actually affecting my mood yet, but I'm glad to coast by on a feeling of accomplishment until they do. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my eye on side effects:
• The antsy feeling from yesterday is almost totally gone today, leading me to believe that it might have been nervousness about taking drugs for the first time.
• I had a minor headache yesterday, but none today.
• My energy level is fantastic, and I feel very motivated. Again, that might just be a feeling of accomplishment, but worth keeping an eye on.
• My self-esteem is decent. Case in point: For years, I lamented the fact that I wasn't the "attractive" kind of fat. I wish I was one of those guys that carried my weight in a barrel chest and solid gut, but mine just kind of hangs 'round my midsection. Last night I caught a glimpse of myself in a new shirt and thought, "hey, not bad champ!"
• Impulsive behavior is something I'm really on the lookout for, because I think it could be an issue while I adjust. Nothing major, but I went to the store to get laundry detergent and I got a wild hair to buy a bunch of cleaning supplies, a new shower curtain and (most importantly) liner and bath mat because the previous bathroom denizen in my new apartment insisted on only having a disgusting white shower curtain. I also felt the need to try to find a few new pieces of clothing. It wasn't a huge deal, something like $86, and they were things that I genuinely need, but I usually agonize more over that kind of expenditure. Something to keep an eye on.
• I haven't really had a low in the last couple days (and in fact, I've been feeling pretty stable since Monday afternoon), but my emotions feel much more present. I'm easier with a smile, and I heard "Je ne pourrai jamais vivre sans toi" from The Umbrellas of Cherbourg and immediately thought of the English version, "I Will Wait for You" by Connie Francis, that plays over the end of the "Jurassic Bark" episode of Futurama (if you're a Futurama fan, you'll know the one) and my eyes welled up with tears just thinking of it. None of this is a negative; depression, as many of you know, can sap you of emotional capacity.
• I've been smoking more cigarettes in the last couple of days. This is odd, since Wellbutrin is also prescribed for smoking cessation. This isn't a big increase - really, I've gone from 0-2 cigarettes a day to 4-5. But again, something to keep an eye on.
• Eating is slightly different. I get somewhat hungry, but never ravenous, and I enjoy the taste of my food plenty, but I get bored with eating very quickly and feel slightly nauseous after a smaller-than-average meal.
• I tried alcohol for the first time and my tolerance isn't bad! Over the course of four hours I had five 7oz Coronitas and a 10-Barrel O.G. Wheat IPA and then I drove home. I felt it slightly more than I would normally but nothing out of control.
So that's it. Let me know if you're interested in hearing my continuing experiences with my brain pills!