So.. Rough day here.

This afternoon I get this weird text from my mom asking if she could come over to my place tonight. Which is unusual because she hates visiting my apartment, because I have three cats and she hates cats. I was busy at work so I couldn’t answer. Then a half hour later she texts again, asking if I can call her right away.

I hate taking personal calls at work so I waited a bit longer, then stepped out into the hall and called her.

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Turns out my father is dead. Turns out he’s been dead, since the end of January. Just nobody told us.

They’ve been divorced for twenty years and I guess his latest ex wife knew, but didn’t try to tell us. My mother actually found out from the bank. We still don’t know how it happened or what happened to his remains. There was no obituary or funeral.

We were estranged. The last time I saw him, I was 12, I think. See, he was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and he molested my older sister. Because of that we cut him completely out of our lives.

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I always knew he would die relatively young because of his addiction. He was 55. But it was still a shock.

I never planned to make contact with him again, out of solidarity with my sister. But it’s still. I don’t know.

He was my dad. We’re going to try to find out what happened and where his remains are.

I’m sad.