Thanks to some feeback on a post the other day, I've realised that my neighbours are in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship. The problem? It's the woman who's the abuser.

PLEASE NO MAINPAGING (I don't know why you would, but to be safe)

I posted the other day about my neighbours and a dog poop situation. Within the post, I described how the couple gets into massive fights and a commenter pointed out that that kind of behaviour can be indicative of verbal abuse. Thanks to that comment, I was finally able to realise why this whole situation was making me uncomfortable and why I really don't like my next door neighbour.

We have excellent sound proofing in my building - they have a small baby and I can only faintly hear when she cries. But when they fight, ho-boy, it shakes the walls. The woman flies into these screaming rages. The reason I'm posting is that there's a fight going on right now, and it's scary. There have been fights like this since they moved in two years ago, but it had subsided for awhile with the birth of their first child about a year ago. Before they had their kid, she would scream and berate him regularly (a couple of times a month) with his responses being to ask her to calm down so they could talk about it. She yells so loud that I can hear everything even though the soundproofing.

But it has started up again, and now there's a kid involved. Tonight, she few into a rage and then there was a bunch of banging (doors? toys? dishes?) and him pleading with her to go take a walk to calm down, all while the baby is screaming, clearly terrified. This is NOT OKAY. But what does one do?!? If I call the cops, it's a wash because the police in my city are known to be terrible and they'll never believe that the guy is the one being abused (he's tall and built, she's average height but thin). I'd be afraid that if I called, they might assume it's the man who's being abusive, which would just end up blaming the victim and not change anything. Plus, she'll get super pissed that someone called the cops :-/

Has anyone ever been in this type of situation? I feel like I have to do something, because there's a kid involved here. I've already heard her yelling at the baby (who's less than a year old) when the father isn't around. Should I maybe try to talk to the guy? Gently mention to him that I've heard her yell at the baby when he's not there?

Advertisement

I totally understand now how verbal/emotional abuse is awful. The partner and the baby must live in constant fear of sending her off into a screaming fit.