Just when I thought my life couldn't get anymore insane.

GWB texted me to warn me that an ex of mine asked him, "I'm going to try to hook up with Flossie, I miss her, do you mind?"

And then he did. "I'm so sorry, I love you, I'm drunk."

Jesus Fucking Christ jumping on a pogo stick.

I also told GWB that my vagina was a gorgeous fucking flower and he couldn't touch it.