1. Florida State
You are openly jealous of your relative that worked at Disney World that one summer
Your "not all Southerners" self-defense speech is better known to you than the Pledge of Allegiance.
One of your life's ambitions is to live on a houseboat someday.
You think of Okies who fled the Dust Bowl for California as the worst breed of quitters.
5. Ohio State
Your neckties are hung neatly in your closet
Your "not all Southerners" defense speech references Alabama fans as a negative example.
You intentionally avoid asking for a raise so that you can continue to look down on those snotty rich USC fans
8. Michigan State
You earnestly believe that you have been referenced in an Eminem song.
9. South Carolina
Your "not all Southerner's" speech contends that the Carolinas aren't really "The South"
You have embellished the extent of your sinning as part of a youth-group testimony.
You have already contacted the AP about the methodological deficiencies in their ranking system and that Stanford should actually be ranked 27th.
You or a relative was mentioned in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Your "not all Southerners" speech is based on the distinction between "Cajun" and "Creole"
You are currently whistling "On Wisconsin"
You don't understand why your UCLA friends manage their money so poorly.
When talking to people, you often try subtly to figure out whether or not they know where Clemson is located.
17. Notre Dame
The fact that you are a Notre Dame fan is your only outstanding personality feature.
18. Ole Miss
You don't understand why anyone would need a "not all Southerners" speech.
19. Arizona State
Next year you will totally get your shit together in time to make it to Burning Man
20. Kansas State
You are up to 16 on your "50 reasons Kansas isn't boring" list.
21. Texas A&M
You pride yourself on your ability to remain polite while explaining the logical and factual flaws in Aggie jokes.
You are up to 21 on your "50 reasons Kansas isn't boring" list [Sorry, I guess that this joke doesn't work. What I was going for is that Nebraska is so boring that Kansas seems much more interesting by comparison.]
23. North Carolina
You keep forgetting that it isn't basketball season yet.
Your "not all Southerners" speech is often derailed when you have to explain to people that Missouri is part of the South.
You get flustered explaining that you mean Washington State, not Washington DC, but also not Washington State University