So I had my first full-blown anxiety attack as an adult on Friday and it was...intense. And It was indeed a day of firsts, because I also got my first ambulance ride to the ER.

I'd felt very anxious all week but was actually super calm on Thursday, as in serious zen. I thought it was just a few days of weirdly jacked brain anxiety that was over and then Friday afternoon - KABAM. Headache, nausea (hello, three times throwing up), couldn't sit still, couldn't think, was shaking like crazy. I thought I might be dying or at least stroking out. I felt so bad but I couldn't even think straight to talk with customers - I hung up on one and sent it to my followup team like it was a dropped call. :( I just couldn't handle it.

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I felt so horrible because I had to interrupt my immediate manager who was in an important meeting with her manager to let her know, oh hey, I'm freaking the fuck out. So they haul out the BP cuff, and my BP was crazy high and my pulse was 140. For over an hour. I felt like I wanted to peel off my skin and run around screaming or something. And then our area manager witnessed my epic crying fit that followed and it was so SO embarrassing. He was horrified.

After just sitting quietly and sipping water didn't calm my crazy BP/pulse down on its own, they called the ambulance folks to check me out and then on to the ER. Where the ER doc was a grizzled old vet type who literally told me, "Why are you here? I see worse than this before I eat my Wheaties." (That's a direct quote. Asshole.)

So lots of Xanax later, and I'm feeling really great. Not tired, not stressed, just good. And it's the first time I haven't been anxious in a really long time, but it sucks I had to have a breakdown to get some decent medication to help.

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Any fellow anxiety people out there? How do you cope with it, other than meds? I couldn't even relax the normal ways last week, like reading or drinking wine in the tub. Nothing worked. Brains suck.