I have a very important doctors appt. on Wednesday. We have known about this appt. for 6 weeks. I cannot miss this appoint- it's with a doc I am lucky to have- very big in the Neuro world who has taken a special interest in my brain. I am lucky to be seeing him- there is a wait list. Last week, my husband dropped on me that he cannot take me. Work, Black Friday prep(it hits warehouses too! He runs one of the biggest ones, which supplies best buy among other places).

I get it- work said no- but I'm still pissed. At what point does my health win? I kind of need that doctor to live- no exaggeration- without those pills he writes my script for I have seizures where I stop breathing. My appointment would take 3 hours. He's be back by lunch. He told them 6 weeks ago. I don't have anyone else (normally- my BFF, who is recovering from a double mastectomy and reconstruction stepped up because she is literally the best), but what if she wasn't able to? A resched takes 3 months min, and I'm in a surgical rotation- they are tracking very specific info to see if I can have surgery. All of that thrown away for a discount on a tv?

I'm mad bc I know he didn't ask to be gone until lunch. He didn't say my appointment is important. He won't. On the one hand, he never treats me like I have a disability- which is awesome. On the other- I do. I have a disabilty. He knows this. We've been together over half of our lives now- we've been in enough hospitals to know how important it is. Why am I not important enough to assert yourself?

Also, after our foster care/ adoption debacle (don't ask- all bad- no one loves me. I was hoping for a better experience with foster care and it didn't work out, and it breaks my heart. Hopefully having the surgery if I qualify will help in that regard)I wanted to ask one more (painful) time about whether there is a possibility of me carrying a child. This is the expert to ask, and if the answer is still no, then I'm thinking of sterilization. It'd be nice if he was there, as I'm sure I'll be a mess afterwards. Thank Zeus for best friends, but it'd be better with him, as it's a joint struggle. That and he'll want me to repeat it all anyway.

Just... Ugh. Fuck Black Friday/ cyber Monday. And employers who change their minds about days off.

My friend and I are following up my appt with some of hers (drains are coming out of her reconstruction)- and then we are seeing the new hunger games. Wish us luck.