First of all, I just want to say sorry-in-advance for being Captain Vaguepost, it's unavoidable. Names and details have been changed to protect the innocent.* Also, there's some necessary backstory I have to cover, sorry 'bout the length!

That's me, I'm the innocent, no one else.

As some of you know based on previous ventings, I get paid to handle social media as part of the giant cache of things I do. This means I have to deal with some unsavory people, since people in social media are THE WORST.

<< It's just like that. Them, me, the universe.

What I'm relating to you today has gotten so bad I just titled an email to an owner of a company I'm contracted with "The Ongoing Saga," knowing he would instantly know the shit to which I'm referring. That is so unprofessional, you guys. I did that and I would never do that. What if that email gets pulled up IN COURT? Cause it totally might. Yep.

Lowdown: An employee of a company I am contracted with got in a car accident after a company-involved (but not sponsored) event, on her way home. We'll call the employee Rachel. Rachel ran a stop sign because she just wasn't looking and hit another car; both cars were pretty injured and had to be towed away. Luckily, both drivers walked. We'll call the other driver — the one who got hit — Josh. Josh is approximately 18.

Police and ambulances came and then left the scene. It was unfortunate (and totally Rachel's fault by her own admission). The area of the accident was pretty rural, so Rachel and Josh both had to wait a long time for tow trucks to pick up their cars after the police, etc, cleared the area.

During the long wait for the tow truck, Rachel got depressed about mangling her car and almost hurting some kid, and so decided to pass the time by having a drink from a closed container of scotch she had in her (now defunct) car's trunk. Rachel had already been cleared by the cops and given a statement, and she wasn't going to be doing anymore driving. So she sat on the side of the road and pulled a Don Draper.

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Josh's mom came to pick up Josh instead of waiting for the tow trucks to get there. Josh's mom saw Rachel drinking on the side of the road and lost. her. shit.

Josh's mom decided that the police must have been incompetent and that Rachel must have hit Josh in a DUI-related-accident. She called the cops and had them come back to arrest Rachel for a DUI. Because it was called in and there was an open container blah-blah Rachel had to go to jail for the night.

So that's the backstory. Guys, I think what Rachel did was SO DUMB. Drinking on the side of the road post accident?

BUT YOU GUISE THIS MOM. She is making my life a personal hell. She has managed to ramp up the charges against Rachel to felony DUI and reckless endangerment (the arraignment is Monday), and she isn't stopping there, no sir.

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Forget that Rachel wasn't actually working when she got in the accident. Forget that she's not the owner of the business. Let's attack the business all over social media anyway! THIS LADY IS RELENTLESS. She called the business owner the other day to ask him to fire Rachel on the grounds of "being a terrible person." He said he was going to wait for the court to decide (because helllooo wrongful termination lawsuit lady) and she wasn't having it.

From the moment I get up til the moment I go to bed I have to be checking the internets for this crazy lady's tracks. She is the queen of negative reviews, of blowing up Facebook, of ALL OF IT. SHE IS A ONE-WOMAN REDDIT.

I know she's furious about it all and as a mom this whole experience probably scared the shit out of her (though I've been in like 3 serious car accidents personally, and I'm thinking this one was not so bad, but whatevs), but I am finding it hard to forgive her for making my life suck so much.

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She just doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself and Josh. And I do get that instinct, I do, but it's like she's devoid of logic. The business owner called her and tried to explain about the business staying neutral for legal reasons and she didn't give a shit. She further launched her attack. SHE PUBLISHED THE BUSINESS OWNER'S PERSONAL PHONE NUMBER ON FACEBOOK WITH A CALL TO ACTION.

I just can't. And I am like a day away from creating JoshsMom.com with a full workup of all her libelous, crazy shit.

And PS: I have stalked the shit out of this lady and she is RACIST AS FUCK. This was posted on her Facebook wall:

And that's not even touching on the homophobia. I can't with this one guys, please lift me up.

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EDITED TO ADD OMG YOU GUISE SHE JUST FILED A CLAIM AGAINST THE BUSINESS WITH SOME AMBULANCE CHASER I JUST GOT THE EMAIL RIGHT NOW.

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I can't even imagine on what grounds she'd file (no details yet) ... ???? RACHEL WASN'T WORKING AT THE TIME OF THE ACCIDENT. IT MAKES NO SENSE.