I’m currently at an airport, taking advantage of free wifi and waiting for my flight to board. And for once in my life, I actually look decent while in an airport—usually I use my body as an extra carry-on, loading it up with all the socks and sweaters and coats I couldn’t get in my bag, but this year I’m traveling light enough that I actually look like a human being rather than the Michelin man. I have eyeliner on, guys. I am a gorgeous adult.
And because I’m so gorgeous, I realized I’d actually be okay with seeing any of those celebrities who show up in airports once in a while. I could take a selfie, without shame. But who to take a selfie with? Who to share hours on a cramped airborne metal crate with?
The question isn’t as easy as you expect. My first reaction was David Tennant (because mmmmm, David Tennant), but how could I handle exposing myself to him in such a vulnerable place? Even if I managed not to stare at him in an uncomfortable way for the whole flight, I’d still have him watching me get mixed up in the seatbelt, reaching over him for those crappy little biscotti they give you, and wrestling with my backpack (which has of course gotten stuck below the seat in front of me) and my phone (which always ends up in a pocket I can’t reach when I’m sitting).
So yeah, not David Tennant. But maybe Ian McKellen. I feel like he’d be really cool to share a couple hours with, awkward plane habits and all. And I’d be cool with Nnedi Okorafor (she’s one of my favorite contemporary authors), or any of the Would I Lie to You cast.
How about you? Who’s your famous airplane buddy?