I have many excellent things happening.

  • One way or another, I will have more income coming in soon, and it very well might be with exactly the kind of professional work I want. If not, it's an easy part-time job that will give me space to continue looking for professional work.
  • I am getting physically healthier every day. My thyroid medicine is working fucking miracles. My digestion is so much better, I can eat food I haven't eaten in years, and I was actually able to have dessert last night without feeling awful!
  • I started working out regularly. It's awesome - I've wanted to be active for so many years, and now I actually can do it. It's amazing for my mental health. My anxiety is much better controlled, I'm generally calmer, and my body is getting pretty damn banging. Yeah, I'd still like to lose some weight, (back fat and gut WHAT WHAT!) but that probably will happen, and regardless, my ass looks great, and my waist is getting really tiny.

Yet I'm still crabby! I can't seem to get happy about all these great things that are happening. I think a big part of it is that every time in my life I've gotten really happy about something I've accomplished, somehow it's been taken away, and that fall has been incredibly painful. So now, it's really hard for me to be happy that all the incredibly hard work I've put into my emotional, physical and spiritual health is finally starting to show results. I'm working on it...I'm aware of it, and I'm not depressed. I just wish I could give myself more credit and spend a little time feeling proud of myself.