I thought y'all would enjoy this article about pairing wine with girl scout cookies because of course. This is as obvious to me as pairing puppies with sunshine or glitter with the air conditioning vents of my ex's truck.

Still, I felt the list was missing just one more thing, so I have thrown together this pairing of wine with girl scout cookies with feminismism.

Thin Mints
These are by far the most popular Girl Scout cookies according to both the official Girl Scouts Website and functioning tastebuds. But could their popularity be due to their skinnyness? It's right in the name. THIN MINTS CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE. #cookiesateverysize

Recommendation: The Skinny Vine "Thin Zin" Yes, notes of honeydew and citrus are more or less guaranteed to taste horrible with chocolate and mint, but you'll have said "not-fat" three times which makes it come true. Like Beetlejuice.


Savannah Smiles
Originally titled Savannah Walkingdownthestreetmindingherownbusinesses, until some man came along and helpful told these cookies they'd be so much sweeter if they smiled.

Recommendation: I suggest NO. Try it in a sentence: Here's your Savannah Smiles, here's your big glass of NO. They also come in screw cap, as a handy extra screw you.

The Girl Scout Webpage would like you to know that all of its cocoa is conflict free. This means sourced from places without slave or child labor. And the tagalongs in particular support sustainable palm oil.

Recommendation: Any of these here sustainable wines! Mmmm these cookies taste like social justice and environmental responsibility and chocolate and peanut butter!

Caramel DeLites
According to their "Meet the Cookie" profile, these cookies teach girls the importance of keeping her word, doing the right thing, and being fair. They do not appear to be teaching the girls how to spell "delight" correctly.

Recommendation: No wine for you! Try some kava before it is renamed Calming DeLite #they'llalwaysbesamoastome

Are gross. Don't eat them.

Recommendation: Grab a bottle of your already favorite wine. I guarantee it will taste great with not eating trefoils.