Ladies, gentlemen, bears, cats, dogs, and everyone else of GroupThink, it is time for me to confess. I have a superpower.

I have not yet learned to use this superpower for good. It is a great, terrible power that I cannot harness, control, or even scold into submission.

I can break vacuum cleaners... with my hair. My hair is too voluminous, too plentiful, too ... it's awful, okay? My hair is the worst. The absolute freaking WORST! I won't cut it short because [insert complicated self-esteem issues here]. So it's long and there's tons of it and it falls out all over the place. I shed worse than the dogs.

I am going to be in so much crap that it has happened again. Although the repair people at Sears are sure going to be happy to take our money! AGAIN.

Godfuckingdammit. :(

Listen, if nobody hears from me for the rest of the day, send a search party. (This is a joke. Nobody's gonna hurt me. I'm just going to feel really, really bad and hide for the rest of the day.)