I saw Wonder Woman the other night and you all LIED. That movie was one long cliche with a Rom Com disrupting the action. *SPOILERS*
First the good stuff, the action was out-fucking-standing. Amazing, Diana leading the charge and taking no prisoners. Slay Bitch. Do you! Loved it. I was happiest when she was kicking ass. The choreography, shooting, and editing were pitch perfect during the action sequences and I was elated. Gale Godot really brought life to WW and I truly liked her and rooted for her. Excellent casting all around. Everyone was delightful in their roles and worked well with the script and the chemistry between actors was lovely. I was also pleased with the overall colour palate of the film much better than expected. So for all of this it gets a 3 out of 5 Stars.
But for the fuck of fuck what in fuck was Hippolyta’s schtick. Really?! Your QUEEN of the fucking AMAZONS but nooooo why would your daughter who is going to become queen ever train to fight and become a warrior?!!! Really?! FFS!! Are you kidding me with this shit? Fucking Snyder. And why would Hyppolyta ever tell her daughter she is a demi God?! I mean that would awful for the most powerful amazon ever to know that she is in fact the most powerful amazon ever. Hyppolyta even said herself Ares would find Diana eventually so why fucking wait especially if you know that your daughter is the weapon that will kill him. What the actual fuck?! I almost left the theatre. And why in the fuck is Diana hiding behind a rock when the nazi’s come hunting down the Amazons for the entire fight?! She is a trained warrior!!!! Fuck. And why is Chris Pine’s character always pawing at her and tugging her around? And why is she putting up with it? And no one cares about the easy dick jokes Snyder! Fuck. Okay, okay and that scene where is on the front lines and on a bridge passing soldiers and she is upset at the loss of innocence. Are you kidding me?! No Amazon warrior is going to look at wounded soldier and fucking cry about it. Civilians, yes. Soldiers? And who didn’t know that Sir whatshisfuck was Ares. I mean, really. I nearly left the theatre three times. I was making noises and hand gestures for about 40% of the film because I was so frustrated. There were so many moments...oh the fucking dress shopping! OMFG. Just fuck off. I actually said that out loud during that scene. I said “fuck off”. I said that several times. Softly so as not to ruin it for others but I did. So much cliche, so predictable. But...the action was on point and WW kicked some serious ass with that lasso. But y’all lied. You said it was great. Boo.
ETA: This is an excellent critic (shared on this thread, thank you!) of this film and it also reminds us that this fucking film ended with a fucking warrior woman saying “love conquers” WTF??!!!! I nearly fucking died. Fuck. I give this film 3 stars and 5 wtf?!