So part of the reason for getting my surgery at this terribly inconvenient time is that I had to get my 'bow fixed before we could try to get pregnant (I hate the phrase "get pregnant". Dunno why.) Anyhow, so I stopped taking my birth control on Sunday.

Now, the main reason (this is the truth, mom!) that I went on bc 8 years ago was because my periods were horrendous. I don't normally engage in those "but no, mine was worse" competitions, but mine was THE CERTIFIED WORST (tm). Like, 2 days of muscle relaxers and no school with an excuse from the Infirmary. Curled up in bed, passed out (there is a long medical boring story of why this is the case, but I'll spare ya. You are infinitely welcome) for days.

I guess I just kind of thought that wouldn't happen this time? I don't know. I was kind of just looking forward to being medicine free for once and all romantically getting back in touch with my feminine body.

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Well I woke up at 4 am for my medicine and lay there thinking "Shit. I know this feeling". Go into the bathroom, it's like a scene from a horror movie, lay on the floor and cry. So now I am in terrible pain in my arm PLUS crippled from my stupid mf'ing period. I want to just curl up and die but curling up is out of the question. Laying on my back staring at the ceiling and saying "ffuuucccck" repeatedly is all I've been doing. Why? Why do uteri do this? I want to be a man. A man without an arm. Advice, I guess? Empathy? I don't fucking know.