LOLOL. Look at all the ingredients they want me to have for these "Pregnancy Cookies" :

1/4 cup (50 g) candied crystallized ginger

1 teaspoon white granulated sugar

1/2 cup (70 g) dried apricots

1/2 cup (80 g) dried cherries

1 cup (155 g) white whole wheat flour

1 cup (150 g) teff flour

2 cups (220 g) multigrain whole rolled cereal

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

3/4 cup (165 g) coconut oil

3/4 cup (130 g) granulated coconut palm sugar

2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup (100 g) blackstrap molasses

2 large eggs at room temperature

1 large egg yolk

1/2 cup (125 g) applesauce

1 cup (130 g) toasted raw sunflower seeds

1/2 cup (85 g) golden raisins

2 tablespoons (25 g) chia seeds

I have a pretty well-stocked kitchen and I am missing 8 of those ingredients. I have made cookies that literally only HAVE 8 ingredients ( I know, I know, they aren't "health cookies"). Even if I had all bajillionety ingredients there is no way in fucking Hell I am getting them all out, combining them appropriately, mixing them, plopping them, WAITING WHILE THEY BAKE, and then eating them. That is entirely too many steps between me and cookies. They don't even look that great:

And before you guys all tell me that's really not that many ingredients and that it's worth it and you do it all the time and then share your recipes that are TO DIE FOR with just as many ingredients: STOP. I am not going to listen to that. You are all silly. But I ain't mad atcha.