(It's my first day working at my new career. I just graduated college and my boss asked me to call a client and remind them their sentencing is tomorrow. It's the Thursday prior to Memorial Day weekend. This is my first client call
Me: "Hi, this is [My Name] from [Law Office]. I'm calling to remind you that your sentencing is tomorrow at 1:00 pm. [Lawyer] asks that you meet him in front of the courthouse at 12:45 pm or so."
Client: "Oh! Well, I don't think I can make it."
Client: "Yeah, um, I don't think I can make it. I just gassed up my motorhome and I'm leaving for Memorial Day tomorrow morning."
Another one :
(The phone rings.)
Cashier: "Hello, [Name] Pizza… Oh, f***, not again."
(She hangs up. A few customers come and go, and the phone rings again.)
Cashier: "Hello, [Name] Piz— f*** this!"
Customer: "Hey, lady, problem with the phone?"
Cashier: "Some sicko keeps calling from a blocked number and making creepy comments."
Customer: "Hang on. I gotta go find my friend."
(He pays and leaves… and comes back with a 6'8″ NYPD cop.)
Cop: *with a minor Russian accent* "I hear you're having a problem with a caller?"
Customer: "No, no. Do the accent! Make it f***in' scary!"
Cop: *in a deeper voice with a thick accent* "Excuse me. I hear you have problem with caller?"
(The cashier explains. The cop orders a slice of pizza and he and his friend sit and chat for a few minutes. Then the phone rings.)
Cashier: "It's a blocked number!"
Cop: *on the phone, with the accent* "Hello…. You are thinking my body is what? I am thinking your body probably very fragile. Very easy to— Oh, he hung up."
(They stare at the phone a few minutes.)
Customer: "Problem solved?"
Cashier: *to customer* "So… is your buddy there single?"
Cop: *in accent* "Boris have many women. All are love him!"
Customer: "You're married and your name isn't Boris!"
Cop: "Boris is name of accent. Has life of its own."