This seems like a day where people could use a little cheering up, so let's fantasize for a bit! What job do you KNOW you would be great at? You don't have to be qualified, so think big.
I'll get us going here, since this is such a short post...
Aside from taking my rightful place as Supreme Ruler of the 9 Realms (obviously!), I would be excellent at Corporate Re-Organization. A few years ago, I had a contract that accidentally turned into that kind of role, and it was amazing to go through everything that wasn't working about the place and just... fix it.