Welcome To The Bitchery

I enjoyed the article on the main page Paint and Sip classes and figured I would share some of my own experiences from teaching. Here is my artist profile.

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1. If you can pick up a paintbrush and a glass of wine at the same time you’re going to have a good time. Is there paint on your canvas? Did you put it there? Then you Are painting! if you still think you can’t paint- Google ‘Barnett Newman,’ or ‘Robert Rauschenberg.’ They’re famous, and I know you can do stripes and use house paint. Artists are just people who give themselves the permission to paint.


2. Paint is just like a three-year-old, the more you try to control it and make it be perfect and exactly what you needed to be the less it will listen and the more frustrated you will become. But if you love and you just let it be itself, it will be beautiful and amazing. When you put love into your painting you’ll feel it when you look at it later. If you’re frustrated that frustration will come right back to you when you see it again. Give your patience and love to paintings and children- you will have a happy life.

3. Say, you’re writing a letter to someone and you start out with your best printing and try to copy some calligraphy and make it very fancy. But by the end of the letter it will have devolved into your own comfortable hand writing and it will look weird like two people wrote the letter and it will be kind of ugly. But if you write a whole letter in your own handwriting it will be so consistent that it will look cohesive and therefore nice. Paint in your own handwriting and your painting will turn out consistent and therefore it will be beautiful. The art word for this is gestalt.

4. Finger painting is a legit technique. Your fingers can blend the paint easier then you can do it with a paintbrush because you can feel the paint. One lady had these messy Candlefly and asked me to fix it. I took my thumb and I wiped up and she exclaimed joyfully “There it is!” The white and red and yellow were no blended together and it look like one flame instead of sprinkles. Fingerpainting. Try it .

5. Just because you got the paint on the canvas doesn’t mean you’re done. It’s not a ball point pen where you make one line and call it a day. When you get the paint on the canvas, you’re not done: use your brush or your fingers to move it around; the smoother and more blended it will get. I’ll have someone sitting there going “It’s ruined! My painting is so ugly,” but really they just haven’t finished painting. It’s like a rock or a gemstone; it starts out rough and then you polish it.


6. And then you remember the famous celebrities that are so beautiful. And then find one of those listicles with their awkward yearbook photos. Every master was once a disaster, every artist was once an amateur. The awkward stage is your foundation. You got to go through that awkward stage.

7. It’s OK to be messy. I can tell if you make your bed every day from your painting. Just get more paper towel and remind yourself that artists do not have a reputation for being tidy, methodical and organized for reasons. There’s a time and a place for that too, but not when you’re being creative. Creativity is making all kinds of random associations and putting different things together; if everything is put away you can’t make those connections.


8. Paintings look better in the photos because up close when you’re sitting at the easel you can see that they are made of paint. In a Photo your eyes fill in the missing information and you can see what you actually painted. And your painting looks even better when the Walking Dead is on and it’s a choice between looking at palm trees or zombies.

9. You are better at things when you are relaxed. Beginners have a hard time relaxing, so a glass of wine does help. When something looks easy it’s because the person doing it trusts themselves to do it. With painting you’re not at risk of falling over or hurting yourself so it’s a little easier to be relaxed while you’re learning. Therefore painting is better than sports. I just say that because I’m not good at sports.


10. Everyone needs a do over. You can use your paper towel to wipe away the wet paint and do it again. White out was originally just white paint. You can always let it dry and paint over it. I never expect people who are drinking to get it right on the first try and we all need to be more gentle with ourselves and let ourselves makes mistakes once in awhile.

Besides, they’re not they’re not mistakes: they’re just happy accidents.

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