The new girl in my office is nice enough, but she has a lot of questions/judgemental advice about my single status. I suspect it's because she thinks I'm sad and lonely because I'm single(Sometimes she says things out of nowhere like, "Don't worry, you'll find him")... I do hate life a lot, but not because I'm single. I'd much rather not have a boyfriend right now. It's easier to be selfish when you're alone.

Anyways, when she asked me what I was doing for Valentine's Day, I let her know that I was going to diner with a girlfriend of mine... And that I'd forgotten it was Valentine's Day. This gave her a major sad; so she got me this:

I think she means well... Would it be inappropriate to smear chocolate on my face and claim that I gave my new boyfriend the most delicious rim job?