More hardcore than Putin in a Ukrainian fight club, more bitchin' than Stalins mustache, more exciting than Lenin in pantyhose: I present to you the most hypnotizing video to come out of Russia since Vlady sang Blueberry Hill.

Yes, you have to watch it. You really need to.

Also I have just gone down the Vladimir Putin video rabbit hole on YouTube. I think the NSA has me flagged as 'Putin Fetish'.

The above is Russian via Google Translate. Gimme a break, dropped out after nine weeks. Shit be hard yo, I only know enough to greet cabbies.