Hey y’all. My grandfather is going in for heart surgery next week and I’m really scared. I’m just trying to shore up support from wherever I can, because my family is all over the place about this and I can’t really talk it through with any of them.

He’s 85 and in very good health otherwise, but he did catch the flu from my aunt this past week which was terrifying. Luckily he was able to get tamiflu the same day he started having symptoms, and my mom said he was up and moving around yesterday and the day before, got dressed, took himself to the grocery store, etc, which is a relief. He’s still on track to go in for the procedure next week.

It’s minimally invasive- he had a stent put in last month labroscopically, and they’re using the same method to go in and repair his heart valve. If everything goes according to plan, he’ll go home with my mom the morning after the procedure.

He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a dad. The risk with this type of procedure is supposed to be very low but it’s still really scary. My cousin called me last night and was wound up because she had just heard about his flu, and launched into a conversation about how I need to take charge and alert her and the rest of the family if there end up being complications because “if he’s going to die we (she and her daughter) need to be there.” Like...okay. I understand where she is coming from, but she is a former meth addict and has a history of going into spiraling paranoia and obsession when she’s stressed and it was just a lot to take. Seriously wish that anyone in my family knew how to hold space for other people.

Anyway. If you believe in sending healing thoughts etc, i’d really appreciate it. Thank you.