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Today In Stupid News - Firing your Bridesmaid

Why do weddings just bring out the worst in everyone?


The slate piece is good at outlining how everyone behaved badly (the jilted bridesmaid posting on Twitter is a bit much, but frankly, I would probably shit talk a bride that did this to me with a whole bunch of people, just maybe not on social media).

The tweet embedded in the slate piece misses the original email. I’ve copy and pasted it here for your reading pleasure.


I’m so glad to hear you booked flights! I’m sorry classes are taking such a long time to sort out. I know how hard you’re working to be here for the wedding and it means so much to us!

I have a massive favor to ask you, though — and this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to ask anyone — but I need to ask you to relinquish your duties as a bridesmaid.

Come to the wedding, have a fabulous time, and travel in the time you need to without stressing about anything else!

When I asked you, I was really hoping that you could be a part of this whole thing — the bachelorette trip, at least the weekend, prep and the full night of the event (a Sunday night flight means you won’t even be able to be there for the whole wedding)... the whirlwind nature of what your travel has become just won’t work with the duties as a party member. I’m so, so sorry!!

Please don’t feel you’re letting me down, I am asking you to do this. I love you and value your friendship so much and I fully understand the need for you to prioritize school! I want you to be able to focus on that without also worrying about any extra wedding worries.

And I know this is incredibly awkward, but there is a possibility that I might be able to have someone else step into the role and assume the duties. Could you please mail the jumpsuit to me? I’ll Venmo you the postage and the cost of the jumpsuit — just let me know the total.

I know everyone is looking forward to seeing you there! I know I am!

And if you’d like to chat on the phone, let me know! I promise we’re totally cool!

All my love,

I’ll admit to having so much schadenfreude when it comes to weddings and shitty brides being called out, mostly since I don’t ever thing I’ll get married because I’d have to meet someone willing to marry me and that’s looking increasingly unlikely as I get older. I rage against my own feelings of never getting to be the center of attention and celebrating partnering with another person by taking pleasure in other people’s misery #sorrynotsorry.

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