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Welcome To The Bitchery

Today’s interaction is two text messages which consist of:

Congratulations on [an event last night], the first as [description that is only partially accurate].

Too bad we had to find out via Facebook.

My objections are as follows:

  • I have been promoting it for months.
  • It is the second time I’ve done it.
  • She hasn’t attended a performance since 2011, which has lead me to believe she’s not super invested, so lots happen that she never knows about. This one just had some pictures because I was a proud teacher. I don’t know if she cared because it was on Facebook and other people cared, or if it was just a convenient scab to pick so she could get under my skin.
  • Every single event I ever do is on a list on a website which is literally myfirstnamemylastname.com, under a tab that says “events.” I’ve told her this a few times but she prefers to badger me about my location because it’s control and not actual interest.
  • I told her about it yesterday while she was throwing her hissy fit about something else.

I know that this is a trap, and I know I can’t respond. But what I wanted to send back was:

Illustration for article titled My mother.

My husband has wisely chosen to handle all of this by asking questions, pretending to hear the answers, and then saying something in the next sentence that shows he’s not listening.


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