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Random thoughts about being queer and invisible

I’ve been out as queer to family, work, friends, etc. for over 20 years. I was also with a woman most of that time. After it ended, pretty much everyone at work and in my social life had known me when we were together. Everyone assumed I was gay. That’s fine. I have no problem with that identity and intend to spend the rest of my life with a woman so it felt fine.

Once I finally started dating again (men and women), it was a re-coming out. Which was annoying, but over quick. Awkward questions from friends and bit of temporary weirdness.


Now that I am spending most of my time with a man, I am starting to feel really “invisible”. I also feel angry and guilty to see how different (aka better) we are treated when on a date or just moving through life presenting as a couple. It’s been painful. I decided to try to increase my queer social circle, but then covid happened so now I am feeling isolated, invisible, and disconnected from the queer community. Most of my friends of straight. I am hoping some Pride festivities will be reschedule for the fall.

Just a little rant about being queer, but feeling invisible. Any thoughts on how to feel more “visible” or commiseration is welcome.

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