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Putting down a pet

Yes, this kind of a post. What a mega downer, right?

I mentioned in an OT a couple days ago that I’m going to have to put down my eldest cat, Skittles. He’s 15. He’s, as my dad says, “the George Clooney of cats.”

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I brought him into the vet a few days ago to look at his limping foot, but they found a heart murmur instead and after taking X-rays, discovered that he has cancer in his lungs that has spread to his intestines, spleen, and bones. I now have to make that call.

To say that I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions is an understatement. I know that the call to put him down is mine and mine alone, but I feel really conflicted. After asking the vet when I will know it’s time, he said that some signs to look out for is hiding and no longer eating. Skittles is eating, but not a whole lot. He’s drinking water still, he still has some control over his body. But he is no longer really cleaning himself and sometimes he will go hide under a dresser in the closet. He mostly just lays on the same spot on the couch and either stares or sleeps. He’ll get up to go to the bathroom and eat a little, but he always just goes back to the same spot and lies there.

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I also wonder if not putting him down right now is cruel considering he’s suffering from cancer. I keep waiting for a sign that it’s time, but is every day that I don’t put him down adding to his suffering from cancer? He can’t tell me that he’s in constant pain, but if he’s riddled with cancer, I can only imagine that he’s suffering. Am I just delaying the inevitable while I wait for “the sign”? For those of you who have had experience with putting a pet down, how did you know? I know that’s a dumb question to ask because it’s different for everyone, but I am so conflicted and it’s all I can think about.

EDIT: I made this post just as I was about to go to bed, so sorry for the late reply. I also can’t reply to each every single one of you but I want to. Thank you to everyone who made a comment and I’m sorry to everyone who had to go through something like this. I’m going to make the call and make an appointment for this week. 

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