I'm absolutely dreading tonight. In a way I'm in such a rush to bid 2013 a big good riddance but I'm also scared of what 2014 might bring. 2013 was difficult but it is familiar. We haven't really discussed what we're gonna do and I just feel sick about it. My MIL offered to watch Baby Haa tonight and she's at daycare today while we both took the day off work. He has an orthodontist appt to get fitted for his retainer. I'm finally getting around to having the estimate done on my car and then heading to the mall by myself for a few hours. I wanna buy a blazer and I'm going to try sephora again. I need to wear a pair of jeans that don't have an elastic waist again. I'm dreading coming home. Either we pretend everything is fine or we get into a huge fight. There was talk of getting together with 2 other couples but I just feel like that is a bad idea. All we need is to air our dirty laundry in front of others. My anxiety attacks have increased in the last week or so. Yesterday I freaked out about having to call our IT department because my security token wasn't working. The day before that I walked out of a store because I felt overwhelmed. I just am ready to move on from all of this and be normal again. I don't want to fight about his family anymore. So anyways I'm guessing I'll be seeing you all later tonight. Hopefully some retail therapy will have me in a better mood.