Welcome To The Bitchery

It's a Buzzfeed list. I am stuck at my parents' for the week. This is a rural area so I have nothing better to do than comment on every item. :D

1. Truth. Check your fly. Please. Right now. If you've noticed it's open, I already have.


2.When I dance, it is stiff and awkward. It doesn't really look too hot. Pass the rum and maybe I'll show you.

3. I do know every pothole and sidewalk crack. And I still slam into them because I am forever racing off somewhere.

4.I HATE cobblestones. Fuck you, Quebec City. You are beautiful and evil.

5.YESSSSSS. Race down that sweet, sweet new sidewalk. It'll be ruined before you know it.


6. Luckily in my city there are two sacred spots, and typically one is free. But I totally have raced to the front of the bus to get the spot before somebody else. No shame.

7. I have not been to those locations...


9. Fuck that so much. I have to pee sometimes. Put your shit elsewhere. Like a real storage area, perhaps?


10. And when I can't fit, I am grateful for the help of my friends, who are way too at home with my naked ass.

11./12. I have never done this, but maybe I should!

13. No day in my wheelchair feels like that for me. I have the coordination of a drunk old man who realizes the ball hit him 15 minutes after the fact.


14. Lady Gaga using a wheelchair for lolz generates mixed feelings from me. I don't feel upset, but it's not very nice. I go through a lot and it's not a joke or a prop for shock value. I let my friends use my powerchair sometimes, but that feels different to me. They know my life. It's not just for attention.

15. Yup. Sometimes I feel like I can't really integrate with able-bodied folk. But my city is decently accessible.


16. Oh you wanna know if I can have sex? Well, not with you. Send JGL my way.

17. Yes. I can understand you and speak for myself. Don't tell my friend you like my jacket. Tell me!


18 All day every day. By hitting a wall.

19. I am not brave for going to the store to get milk. I am brave for giving you the finger even though you you might hit me.


20. I do what I want.

21. I haven't been to a club yet. Planning to go this summer with some friends. Ten bucks says some drunk guy will ask to sit on my lap. But...is he cute?


22. People stare at me. Usually I tune it out, but sometimes I stare back until they get uncomfortable, or make weird faces. Sooooo much fun.

23. I don't have time to feel bad.

24. Things get better every day. Sometimes it's annoying to wait so long for equal access though.


25. My skillz...are lacking. But you guys are noobs so you'd never know!

26. My friends are amazing. They help me when I spill EVERYTHING, and make sure my bra strap doesn't get me caught in my chair.


27/ Wow. Can he shake my hand?

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