Buzzfeed compiles a list of why your favourite book probably makes you look like an idiot. I would say this list is scientifically accurate.
Oh, no one understands you, just like Holden Caulfield? Why the fuck would I be the first person to start? Get away from me.
It's true. If you tell me Catcher in the Rye is your favourite book, I'm going to think you're disturbed or a phony.
You’re lying. If you’re not lying, why are you reading No. 25 on a list of jokes on the internet? Cure cancer.
I literally do not believe anybody who has said they have read this book.
Oh, it’s so haaaaard to be a white-collar man nowadays, what with laws and feminism and Ikea restraining our healthiest instincts. Oh wait, no it’s not. We’re coddled and chubby pink piglets that don’t have to fight in wars or protect anyone. Enjoy your Frappuccino like a man and quit complaining, you teenager.
Yeah they’re probably right, but Dawkins-thumping nerdtheists make me want to join the nearest megachurch out of spite and polish my “but you can’t prove it” piss-takes until they are Reddit-tantrum sharp.
This is like saying your favorite album is Doolittle. What, the deep cuts were too much for you? A Country Doctor or GTFO.
As I awoke in the library one morning after uneasy dreams, I found the floor transformed into a habitat of gigantic, insect-like creatures.*
The whole list is worth a read, because it's hilarious. And now: submit your own literary red flags!
*True story. It was gross. Cockroaches everywhere.