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91 Messages

That's how many text messages my ex-husband has sent me in two days - 91. He sent 47 on Sunday, 44 last night. This has been an ongoing problem. He gets upset about something, and I receive a text message barrage. Usually it's only somewhere between 15-20 messages, so he's really stepped it up in the last couple of days.

I limit my contact with him (at my therapist's urging) for my own safety and sanity, because he is a verbally abusive, manipulative narcissist who literally blames me for all his problems. One of the messages he sent said "You cause every problem I have in my personal life". I had no idea how powerful I am!

I am so tired of this, you guys. Sunday, his messages were verbally abusive (I posted about it). Last night, they were just rude, condescending and patronizing as hell. The theme that spans these is that I don't communicate enough information to him. He wants to know on a daily basis how the kids did in school, want to know what they ate, stuff like that. Which perhaps wouldn't be a problem, if he wasn't an abusive lunatic that just wants to keep control over my life (after 2 years apart!).


According to my former lawyer, who handled my divorce, these text message rants are "just how people treat each other" in divorces, and that as long as he is asking about the kids, I have to respond.

My therapist says that I need to find another attorney to ask about it, because she's pretty sure there's no judge in the world who would insist someone endure abuse in the name of co-parenting.

The ex's formula for these messages is usually to send 5 texts at a time - 4 of them consisting of blaming, rude presumptions and sarcastic remarks and insults, then the last one contains a question about the kids for me to answer. It's like he's making me talk to him. I want to stop and ignore him, but according to what my former attorney said, that would mean I wasn't communicating with him about the children and that could be used/held against me.


He's wily, I have to give him that, because almost every single one of those 91 messages refer to the children in some way (except for the ones that simply say "You suck" or "You are shit").

He called me this morning, trying to re-hash what he had ranted about in text message form. I told him we had already discussed those topics and needed to move on. He shouted at me that I HAVE to agree with him on certain things; I ended the phone call.


I feel harassed, I feel abused, I feel unsafe, and I want this to stop. Every time I hear the text notification on my phone my heart starts pounding. I had a panic attack last night, dealing with him. I don't know what to do, and I am so tired of taking his shit.

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