Thanks to a cracked gas line my building has been without consistent hot water or heat for the past couple of weeks. This means, among other things, no in-building laundry services until everything is repaired. Because the nearest laundromat is several blocks away and I am lazy, I decided to just wash a pair of panties by hand and hang them on the balcony to dry while I take my shower.

I come back from my deep conditioning, panties. I look all over the balcony: no panties. I look in the bathroom and my bedroom, thinking maybe I carried my underwear back inside and forgot. Nope, no panties.

My cute, blue, lacy, flowery underwear are now stuck in a tree or on top of a car somewhere in Harlem. Easy prey for a passing pervert or rat looking for nest material. And there's no time to wash and dry another pair, so it looks like I'll be going commando to work.