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I may have accidentally told two different people that they could come stay with me on the same weekend, and I can only house one of them. But they are the two flakiest people I know, so there is a large chance (a huge chance, actually) that one or both of them will cancel. So large that I’m tempted to just do nothing and let this sort itself out. But that seems like that’s just tempting the universe to spite me and have them both actually decide to come.

One of them is my good friend who is totally chill and would reschedule in a heart beat except that she needs to come here for a work thing, and that’s probably the only weekend in the next 2 months that works. Also, she has some awesome perks that come with her job, so in addition to the fun of seeing her I might get to do something awesome (i.e., free meal at an iconic restaurant I’ve always wanted to try). So, I have positive incentives to go with her. But she could well flake on me, because she’s been planning to visit for the last year, with at least two dates chosen and flaked on.


But there are negatives to trying to reschedule the other person, because it’s my sister, whose super power is turning minor, imperceptible (or perceptible only to her) slights into a huff that can result in months of silent treatment. And I just got out of one of those, so I’m reluctant to dive back in. Even though it’s totally irrational and I know I didn’t do anything wrong, it weighs heavily on me to know she’s mad at me. But then I feel like that is letting crazy win. Because, despite living a half day’s drive or an hour plane ride away for the last two years, my sister has never actually come to visit me. She’s talked about it, and every time she mentions it I say, “Sure! Any time!” Sometimes she even mentions a date (usually because there’s a show she wants to see, or a job interview she might have), and then that date will pass I won’t have heard from her. If I follow up she’ll say, oh, yeah, that ended up being a bad weekend because of x,y, and z. Which is fine, I totally don’t care if she flakes on me, weirdly, probably because I never expected her to actually come in the first place (like I said, she’s flaky. It’s not personal). I go down and see her every two to three months or so. But I do feel like if I say to her, “hey, that weekend is not good, how about the weekend before or the weekend after” there is a real chance that she’ll get annoyed.

Advise me.

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