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A measured application of FB shame? Or just a private message?

(I don’t know if this needs some sort of body-shaming trigger warning, but it’s all reasonably mild stuff). My littlest sister has always had a mean girl streak. She’s not Regina George, but she’s got some misplaced pride in being the ‘boss bitch’ in her circle of friends, and there have been the odd moments of deliberate cruelty.

Recently, a close friend of hers has taken up weightlifting. My sister, rather than acknowledging her fear that this long-time bestie is making new connections and has a new interest, has taken up posting to FB about what sorts of women’s bodies she thinks are prettiest and which are nasty and no one would want to have sex with. Go figure, very light or slim are considered desirable, sporty or muscular are not.


In the past, I’ve dealt with these sort of things privately, but this is just so obnoxious. She’s 19 and she knows precisely what body shaming is and not to pull this shit. I’m tempted to go into the comments and lay down some serious big sister shade. My anger probably has to do with the fact I’ve know this friend of her’s since they were toddlers and I know this is just straight up bullying. It doesn’t feel like it’s enough to just tell sis to quit it over messenger.

So. Private message? Or just leave it in the comments that she is body shaming and that her personal concept of what is fuckable has no bearing whatsoever on what sort of bodies or health choices are deserving of respect?


I feel like if this was anyone but my little sister, I would happily reply publically—I dinno, even though she is 19 now there is a still a power imbalance in our relationship—or maybe lines are fuzzy when you are friends with your family members on Facebook. And you generally like your family.

EDITED for I’m on my phone and oh so many typos.

EDITED for Thanks—’cause you all helped a lot. I think in the end, now that I’ve slept on it and am a bit less rage-y, I decided that although it would be totally warranted to respond publically to this shit, I’m not the right person to do it. And it doesn’t serve my personal purposes best. I’m gonna take it up with her when we speak later this week.

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