Well, this is my last weekend of cohabitating with my ex partner. We ended things a long (long) time ago, but I kept living with and supporting her to give her time to see if she could get disability (she didn’t) and then re-enter the work force (she did, but then covid 😕). I was slow to give myself permission to pursue my own life on my own terms.
Next weekend, I’ll be living alone for the first time in almost 20 years. It’s frustrating to outfit a new place with most stores closed (I am not taking much with me). It’s also frustrating not to be able to explore/enjoy my new neighborhood. It’s a strange time to move.
I am so excited even though it’s just a small and not great place (just for now). I still have financial obligations to her as well, but I can finish processing the end of my relationship. I need alone time for that. I can do whatever I want which is exciting. I’ve spent most of my entire adult life in a serious relationship and mostly putting someone else’s needs first. I never got to be young or carefree.
I’ve also been seeing someone for about a year now. It started super casual. Was supposed to just be a tinder hookup, but everyone else fell away and we are still enamored with each other more than ever.
I can FINALLY have my person over to MY space. I can’t wait. I realize so many people are struggling emotionally and financially. It feels almost like bad form to celebrate, but I am just feeling joyful about my future.