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A Non Christmas Music Rant

I am those freaks who listen to Christmas Music voluntarily in their spare time. I know the cool thing to do is complain about Christmas Music, but I just can't hate it. I have fond memories of listening to the radio play non-stop Christmas Music, and I have nothing bad to say about fond memories.

Oh wait.

My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music is not, I repeat, NOT a Christmas song! It was sung during a thunderstorm in summer. The only thing that makes it slightly Christmassy is a short mention of snow and packages that might possibly be presents. I am so irritated by the sudden christmassification of a simple song sung to sooth the Von Trapp children.


On the subject of christmassification, I have a bone to pick with Linus and Lucy being used as a Christmas song. There is a perfectly fine Christmas song by the same composer. What gets me is that Christmastime Is Here is a solid classic, but Linus and Lucy is catchier, so The Powers That Be have decided to use it as a Christmas song for commercials and mall music.I say regulate the song to Peanuts specials, which are not broadcasted nearly enough.We need more depressed children in our lives.

There are also a few honest-to-god Christmas songs that I cannot stand. They are not Christmas Shoes bad, but they are still quite unlistenable this time of year. First is Here Comes Santa Claus. If you listen to more than the first verse, it goes from simple Christmas cheer to Let Me Tell You About Jesus territory. As an unreligeous person, that song makes me very uncomfortable.

The other song I cannot stand is Do They Know It's Christmastime by BandAid. Yes, the song was done with good intentions, but those intentions are nothing if they're wrapped in bullshit. Fact: there is a sizeable Christian community in Africa, especially places like Ethiopia( which the intentions of the song was aimed at), so they know it's Christmas. Fact: there are also non- Christians in all of Africa, and they don't celibrate, anyway. They just want to be fed. Don't you care about the Muslim children, Sting?I hate this song because it turns me into those people who shit on people's philanthropic endeavors... But if they weren't so damn smug! Argh!

Another thing I hate without even hearing it is Carrie Underwood as Maria in The Sound of Music singing anything. Julie Andrews has the voice of an angel, and I will compare every note she hits with The Impeccible Miss Andrews and find her lacking.I know it's a lot of hate going her way, but I am still upset that The Live Preformance That Should Not Be exists in the first place.Since it's being preformed in December, I'm counting this thing as Christmas Related or Christmas Adjacent at best. My Favorite Things is still not a Christmas song.


So there we go. I've laid down a load of hate, so now I'm ready to get back to being festive and actually liking Christmas Music. Liz Out.

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