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A note about the Aziz story...TW: Sexual Assault, rambling

So Aziz intentionally ignored the exact same actions that Spacey ignored with Harry Dreyfuss.

But his hand stayed there. So after a bit, I came up with what I thought was a brilliant safety tactic: I stood up and walked to the other side of the couch, and sat back down. Bulletproof. But without missing a beat, Kevin stood up too, and followed me. He sat just as close and immediately put his hand back on my thigh.



So I stood up one more time and returned to my original place on the couch, giving Kevin another opportunity to take the hint. I also added one more layer of protection. The moment I sat down, I firmly placed my own hands upon my thighs, palms down, claiming that territory for myself.

Once again Kevin followed me, sat down, and with considerable effort, slid his hand between my right hand and my right leg. He’d snuck in.


Except Aziz did this about 6 more times than Spacey did. And Aziz ignored multiple verbal confirmations that she did not want to go farther. And Aziz physically pushed her head to his crotch.

I just want to note that men are intentionally misunderstanding this. Every time you see a man say “well she sucked his dick!” it’s because they want to conceal the reality of the situation. They are likely predators themselves. They have likely engaged in this exact same shit themselves. It’s not that men simply don’t understand, I think they fucking understand very well. Because if it were a man doing this to them, they’d know it was wrong.


And about that part where she went down on him...at this point she’d rejected his advances physically and verbally multiple times. At this point she thought she had finally stopped him from aggressing. She didn’t sit next to him on the couch though, just in case. But she thought it was over. And then she turns around and sees his dick out. This is all so familiar to me, but especially this. It’s the point where I realize my ‘no’ is not going to matter, because now I see that someone is making a conscious choice to ignore my boundaries and wants. It’s all about what he wants. And he’s willing to break the social contract to get it. 

This is where you start to wonder what else he’s willing to do. That’s why she didn’t jump up, scream, and run out. If you run he might chase you, or hit you, or prevent you from leaving. And you have to decide what you’re willing to do. Most women will deescalate. And this is what predators love, because not only is it a sign they’re getting some of what they want. But later this will cast doubt that the predator has done anything wrong (which is exactly what it’s doing). At that point she’s terrified, possibly in shock and denial, and she doesn’t want to believe what’s happening is actually happening. This is why I think she went down on him. The scary, violent outcomes are always in the back of my mind. But she might’ve thought if she went down on him, it would stop his aggression and coercion. Unfortunately, and this is why I think he’s done this before, he used this to get her to do exactly what she was trying to avoid - penetrative sex. At that point she snaps and wants out. For whatever reason, she’s willing to risk violence because she has done so much to prevent this from happening. Luckily, he does let her leave. A lot of men don’t. But this is another reason I believe he’s an experienced predator. He understands what he’s doing is wrong, but as long as he keeps it in this grey area he has an out socially. Men like this are fully aware of their allies in the world, and how so many men are willing to pretend this behavior is just a case of a “clueless” guy.

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